Broken Deviation

My ears are ringing,
My head is spinning.
But it's okay.
Because you're not here today.
Not in my arms,
Not in my sight.
In my mind..?
In my mind, all the time.
Tears well up in my eyes, refusing to fall.
Tipping barely over my eyelid, but they sink back in.
Sobs attempt to bubble out my throat.
Sure enough, they don't.
And you might think me funny for this,
All this time, I tried to believe you.
Listening to your words, wishing they were true.
Lies filled my ears. I soaked them in like summer sun.
You might as well just forget me altogether. Don't bother.
You wouldn't care to bother anyway. So don't care. It doesn't make any difference.
Why? Why did you do this?
When did you think it was okay?
Can you not feel it? The thump of my heart slowing?
Can't you hear the gentle pulse of it giving in?
Giving in to what, you may ask?
Giving in to what darkness you left me in. Not caring to pull me back out.

I took the stars from our eyes, and then I made a map
And knew that somehow I could find my way back
Then I heard your heart beating, you were in the darkness too
So I stayed in the darkness with you.